


You are not alone

by melonbutterfly



Series: Stranger Things Have Happened [6]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Arc Reactor, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-12
Updated: 2013-02-12
Packaged: 2017-11-29 02:42:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/681799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melonbutterfly/pseuds/melonbutterfly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony is back, and not all is well, but they're getting there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You are not alone

It's not funny, not really, but Loki can't help himself, he starts to laugh. "Just a second, let me recap that. You tell him to his face that you're not going to do what he wants and he doesn't understand a word, and then you make a shopping list for all the things you need to better fuck them up and they scramble to get everything for you?"

Tony grins at him, the wild, reckless one, the darkness in his expression receding until it only remains about his eyes. "That's exactly what happened."

Loki laughs again, because if he doesn't – if he truly thinks about it – he might cry again, and if he's learned one new thing about Tony, it's that he can't deal with Loki's tears. It makes him cry too, and Tony cannot deal with that right now. He's holding on by the skin of his teeth, it feels like, and the last thing he wants is to lose it. They both know it's inevitable, it's going to happen, but Loki isn't going to push Tony on that front.

"Only you, Tony," he says instead, with a smile that's perhaps a bit too revealing, too bright, too sad.

In the past, Tony would have grinned and wriggled his eyebrows and said something like "It's what I do", but he doesn't say a word now. The smile on his face fades as he stares into the distance. "I wouldn't have managed without Yinsen."

He's heard of Yinsen before; Tony had mentioned him twice, a bitter anger twisting his mouth intermixed with a fair amount of guilt. Loki's not touching that with a ten foot pole. It's not Tony's Howard-face, but it bears a strong resemblance.

"You would have," he says instead and, upon the instant denial on Tony's face, he repeats it more forcefully. "You would have. Differently, perhaps with more difficulty, but you would have." Tony doesn't reply, stares out of the dark window with unseeing eyes, thoughts far away. Loki gives him a moment, then shifts closer, takes the forgotten glass out of Tony's fingers. The ice cubes chink quietly when Loki puts the glass on the floor. He looks at Tony again, who doesn't react at all, still somewhere else in his mind, and carefully reaches out, fingers on Tony's chin as he turns Tony's face towards him. "I know you, Tony."

Tony blinks and looks at Loki. "I know," he says eventually. He looks at Loki for a moment longer before leaning in and kissing him, a little awkward at first because the angle is off but they both shift into it simultaneously, Tony's hand cupping Loki's face and pulling him closer. At first it's not really sexual – though it's not not sexual either – even though it involves tongue, but it's getting there.

Loki's heart is beating rapidly in his chest; this isn't the first time they've kissed since Tony got back about a week ago, it's not even the first time they've downright made out since then, but they haven't had sex. Tony hadn't initiated and Loki hadn't suggested, but that's very clearly subject to change.

Unable to hold back a moan when Tony's tongue thrusts into his mouth in a way that always sends delicious shivers down his back, Loki curls his fingers in Tony's hair and pulls him closer, closer still when Tony follows the pull and literally climbs on top of him, pushing Loki down. He sinks onto his back willingly, spreading his legs and pulling up one knee to press it against Tony's hip. Tony hums happily into his mouth, one hand still on his face, the other suddenly making itself known at Loki's belly, pushing his shirt up. Tony's shirt, because while Loki had brought a couple of his own clothes over at one point, he had worn Tony's favorite t-shirts every now and then, and Tony's expression when Loki had put one on after showering… suffice to say, Loki had kept wearing them.

"Loki," Tony gasps, pulling away to catch his breath, staring at him with dark eyes.

Loki really doesn't know what to say. He looks up at Tony, trying to catch his breath. He wants to – he really wants to sleep with Tony, he's missed it, he's missed him so fucking much, but he doesn't know what happened to Tony in Afghanistan and so he's taking all his cues from him on that front.

Breath slowly calming down, Tony rubs his thumb over Loki's lower lip, still just staring at him. He shifts his hips a little, pressing the growing hardness in his jeans against Loki's thigh, pulling his knee up a little to push his own thigh right between Loki's legs. "Tony-" Loki starts, not even knowing what he's going to say.

He doesn't get to find out because Tony kisses him again, lips wet and warm. Loki immediately opens his mouth, rubs his tongue against Tony's. It's been far too long since they've done this, he didn't mind waiting, he honestly didn't but he loves Tony's weight on him.

Tony moans, shifting on top of him and wriggling one hand between them to adjust himself, taking the opportunity to casually grope Loki. "Let me-" he gasps.

"Yes," Loki agrees immediately. He has no idea what Tony actually wants but it doesn't matter, it really doesn't, whatever it is he's fully on board with it. "Yes, yes, come on!"

"Shit, babe." Smearing kisses along Loki's jaw, Tony pushes Loki's shirt up, dragging his fingers over his skin. Eyes rolling up Loki arches up when Tony scrapes his teeth over his skin, gasping for breath.

"Tony-" Taking hold of Tony's hair, Loki drags him back up and into another kiss that's more them panting into each other's mouths and licking at each other messily than anything else.

Greedy for Tony's skin, Loki starts pulling at Tony's shirt, and that's when things grind to an abrupt halt. Like a scalded cat Tony scrambles off him, pulling at the hem of his shirt to keep it down.

"No," he says, eyes wide.

"Okay," Loki says immediately, instinctively; then he blinks, trying to catch up with what's happening. A moment ago things were rapidly heating up between them and now Tony looks like he's about to bolt. Sitting up halfway, Loki looks at Tony, trying to catch his breath while figuring out what the hell is going on. His eyes catch on where Tony is covering the arc reactor in what has to be an instinctive gesture. It hits him then – how Tony had shown him only once, that he hasn't seen Tony's chest bare since.

"Tony," Loki says, meeting his eyes again; they're shuttered now as Tony is sure aware that Loki has figured it out. "It's okay."

Tony laughs; it's not a happy sound. "It's really, really not."

"It's not hurting?" Loki checks. When Tony mutely shakes his head he sits up, cups Tony's face. "Then it's okay," he says firmly. "You can keep your shirt on, if you want to, or… we don't have to."

Grimacing, Tony lowers his gaze. "Shit, babe. I really want to fuck you but the mood's all shot to hell, isn't it?"

Sort of. And though he remembers that they're good at getting into the mood for sex Loki doesn't point that out, not with Tony's pulse still beating fast at his fingertips, and probably not from arousal. Instead, he presses a kiss to Tony's forehead, and then another to the tip of his nose. "I love you," he says, flushing a little with the honesty of it. He's not used to saying it, not at all, though he's said it again more than once since their fight.

Making a needy noise low in his throat, Tony wraps both arms around him and pulls him close, burying his face in his neck. Loki rubs his hand over his back and breathes into Tony's hair. This didn't go at all the way he had thought it would, but he can't and doesn't expect everything to be perfect. That's a mistake he made at the beginning – the actual beginning, in his early twenties and so naïve – and that is definitely something he grew out of.

"You too," Tony eventually murmurs, lips soft against Loki's skin.

Loki hums and kisses the side of Tony's head. "Wanna watch Blade Runner and eat Phish Food?"

Tony laughs, a bit hoarsely but when he pulls back he looks only amused. "Ice cream tastes best with other people's tears*?"

"Of course." Loki haughtily raises one eyebrow.

Laughing again, Tony brushes the hair out of Loki's face and kisses him. "Well, then, who am I to deny you that?"

**Author's Note:**

> * It occurred to me that this might make Loki sound like a huge dick who's making fun of Tony, but actually it's referring to a famous scene/speech in Blade Runner, [Tears in Rain](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tears_in_rain_soliloquy).


End file.
